I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
