I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
