Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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