This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
