You really coming over, don't trick.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
