i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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