put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
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