So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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