My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
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