How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
