Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
