I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
