I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
