I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
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