I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
