It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you didnt know i had herpes?
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize