Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
