he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Randomize