I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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