Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
