where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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