im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
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