i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Randomize
