Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
