i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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