She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
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