Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
