now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
