porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
