I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
