hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Randomize
