Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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