she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize