I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Randomize
