Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
