found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
This is the prime rib incident all over again
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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