whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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