Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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