U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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