I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize
