i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
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