So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
well you can't waste a boner
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
