it hurts more in the daytime
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
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