Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
