I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
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