Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
