That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize