Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
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