If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Just puked most of my soul out..
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