$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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