Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Randomize
