Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
