I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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