Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
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