My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I'm just crazy horny about you
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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